Day dreaming happens often when you’re not focussed on the now and wishing you were somewhere else. The content of the dreams for me were often what I chased and fought hard for, what I longed to be doing rather than what I was doing at the time. I’d just lost yet another appeal and all I could see was the window of opportunity becoming smaller and cloudier. With the job I was doing at the time, I was asked to move state to a place I’d never been. Whilst the move was invigorating, it slowly dawned on me that I still wasn’t enjoying my job. When times got tough I would fall into my little world about the ‘what if’ scenarios of my experience; what if I got accepted into the air force and started training? What if they allowed my surgery to be approved? What if I was born with perfect eyesight? Psychologically, this was a dangerous place for me to be in. This place made me want to achieve my dream more and more, but it took away from what I was doing and what I needed to do in the now. Yet day dreaming about the ‘what if’ situations of my life was like a drug and I was addicted. Maybe I wasn’t enjoying my job as much because of this. Maybe I could have been more engaged at work and achieved more if I stopped dreaming and started focussing the reality of me not achieving my dream. But those day dreams were motivating points in my day, surrounded by the many things I failed to enjoy at work.
It was May in 2013 and I’d just come home after a frustrating, mind numbing day. I found myself sitting on the couch at home staring blankly at the television I sparsely watched, wondering if excitement would rear its head. I was thinking about an upcoming friend’s wedding as a point of positive focus when a TV advert caught my immediate attention. “Do you want to go to space?” said the cool voice over on the ad. Confusion in what I heard, I zoned in all my focus on the TV. “Buy Lynx deodorant and you could win the chance to compete against people from all around the world to go to space.” WTF?!